Down

I was going to make a soundblogg, but my mick doesn't want to cooperate, so that'll have to wait til I have fixed a good one. Back to today's business then.

I'm slowly realizing that I'm wearing down. It goes on and on and on and on. I've tried to pull a heavy curtain over it all, but sometimes something slips through and sends me over the verge of panic. I've started to blame everything on myself, so much has he ground down my self confidence. As it is now, I don't know what to do. I wish I could tell him to fuck off, but I'm too attached to him to actually dare to do it. I try to adapt to his will and all his wishes, but I still can't get it right. I got no idea of what I can do to get over him. I don't want to let go of him because it also means I have to let go of all my dreams. Every moment I get with him and every shared second is a treasure. This is truly my worst nightmare becoming reality.