I see sunshine

As I see sunshine on my face I came to decide to write in English, since it's a much more beautiful language and has a heap of words more. I'm calm, I'm collected. Even if the hurt is overwhealming I'm calm. Don't think of things to come, don't think of lonely times. Keep on believing. There are no words to describe the hole, there are no words to describe how much I need him. The comfort is still there between us, as things have never changed, but the trust is wobbly. Letting go is so much harder than staying put. The guilt and fretting is always present as a beesting in my eyes. A reminder of how bad I am. But I can be strong, I can manage. Barely, but still manage. I keep on fighting. For a dream, how vain it may be.